Can I Love You Now?

The crisp auburn autumn leaves fell, as the trees danced a passionate tango in the wind. Jacob waited on the old, engraved bench by the river. He watched the autumn leaves place themselves on the water, floating towards their last journey. He pondered upon what he would say when the moment came. ‘Should I ask her what’s going on? No, maybe I’ll just wait for her to tell me. If she wants to, she will.’ He thought to himself. What felt like hours went by; the leaves continued to fall, and his hope for Evelyn’s arrival started to dwindle, but nevertheless, he waited. He imagined the scene over and over of when she’ll walk up to him, with her wild auburn hair flowing, her hazel eyes with flecks of gold that he sinks into every time she’s around, and that same effortlessly old-fashioned suede jacket she would always wear. Finally, after the longest fifteen minutes of Jacob’s life, Evelyn walked up to the bench; their eyes locked onto each other.

 

Jacob had known Evelyn for years, and for years he’d loved her from afar. After meeting at Beaver Publishing, a workplace they shared, there wasn’t a day that went by without them talking. Evelyn had started the job about six months after Jacob which he, of course, never let her forget. The office they shared was small but reasonable for the semi-successful status of Beaver Publishing. The chair seats were slightly ripped in the corners, and the coffee was cheap and a truly terrible acid, but something about the place felt like home to the both of them. Jacob would spend his days proofreading chapters to put forward to Micheal, their incredulously perverted but brilliantly minded boss. Evelyn would edit their writers’ works. The days at Beaver were calm and sweet; Jacob would start off his day getting coffee with Evelyn while they made fun of Michael’s creepy little hand movements and unforgettable commentary on “what an unexpectedly intelligent girl” Evelyn is. Then Jacob would melt into his chapters before lunch came along. He and Evelyn would always spend lunch in the acceptably overpriced Jazz Java, a coffee shop drenched in framed signed posters of iconic artists, just across the road from Beaver. The order will be forever burned into Jacob’s mind: a Cascades Cappuccino for him and for Evelyn, a Fleetwood Flat White. After a few laughs and swapping stories with never faltering eye contact, they sauntered back to the office, and Jacob continued to melt until 5:30pm, at which time he’d go home, and the day would be over. 

The same could not be said for Evelyn on that day. The air was thick and angry. A silence engulfed the morning so loudly it almost rang in her ear. Today was the day she had to come clean to Jacob, and so she arranged to meet him on her favourite bench by the river.

“If you have to be sad, do it somewhere beautiful.” Evelyn always said. The moment came, as it had to, and Evelyn locked eyes with Jacob and sat on the bench alongside him.

“So, how are you? You sounded different on the phone earlier.” Jacob enquired hopefully, avoiding Evelyn’s somber tone to live a little longer in the dream of what this meeting could be.

“I’m in love with you.” Evelyn solemnly replied. “But I have to leave tomorrow, for good.”

“Leave?! Where to? I – I’m in love with you too.”

“That, I can never say. I’m sorry.” And with that, Evelyn stood up and walked away. Jacob was stuck sitting on the bench, cursed to watch the autumn leaves be thrust down the river to die, away from their beloved tree.